Month: January 2017

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Family Dynamics

“A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city; and their contentions are like the bars of a castle”  (Proverbs 18:19)

This phrase from Proverbs says much about family dynamics. Bad things do happen among relatives. And the Bible is not shy in its exposition of the struggles and conflicts that occur between people who are so close, among those bonded by blood, genetics, and community.

Just four chapters into Genesis we meet Cain and Abel, brothers and sons of Adam and Eve. What we read is a story of an offended brother and his descent into envy, rage, disappointment, and murder.

Cain slew Abel and, then, seemingly went about his business as a “tiller of the ground.” When the Lord opened a line of questioning about Abel’s whereabouts, Cain replied with a cold, hard question of his own: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (see Genesis 4:9).

A brother offended is hard indeed.

Cain took issue with how God dismissed his offering – something he brought from the fruit of the ground. The products of Cain’s labors were unacceptable in the economy of sacrifice. Abel, a shepherd, offered a firstling of his flock with its blood and its fat.

The respect paid to Abel’s sacrifice pained Cain. His frustrations ate at him until he vented them upon Abel and killed him. Hostilities do hit homes and hit them hard.

Human beings reach boiling points in their emotions, and those scalded are the ones nearest and dearest. It happens so readily. “Loved” ones bear the brunt of our expressions of disappointment; we easily and casually lash and trash wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, friends, neighbors, fellow church members, etc.

Bury these realities?  The Bible does not do this.

A bit further in Genesis, we read of Ham, son of Noah, and how he made show of his father as lay drunk and uncovered. Ham broadcast the scene to his brothers, Shem and Japheth. The latter two refused to look upon their dad in such a state and took pains to get Noah covered. Upon hearing what Ham had done, father Noah pronounced a curse on his son and his offspring.

Yes, contentions are like the bars of a castle.

Genesis concludes with the story of Joseph and his 11 brothers. The dysfunction detailed here had its roots in father Jacob’s favoritism toward Joseph, the firstborn of his favored wife Rachel, whose womb had been dead for several years.

A coat of many colors had been given to Joseph, marking him among his brothers, and then came his dreams. His first night vision pictured 11 sheaves bowing before Joseph’s sheaf. The second featured the Sun, the Moon and 11 stars in obeisance to Joseph, a 17-year-old at the time.

The dreams — and perhaps his unwise speaking aloud of them — made his brothers ever more envious. One day, as the brothers were watching over the family flocks in Dothan, they saw Joseph and his many colored coat afar off. Like Cain, the frustrated brothers contrived a plot to kill their “dreamer” brother and squelch his visions (see Genesis 37).

The intervention of Reuben, the oldest among the brothers, spared Joseph from death. But the others saw an opportunity when a slave-trading caravan drew near. Joseph was sold, his colorful garment smeared with goat’s blood, and Jacob deceived into thinking his favorite had been torn and devoured in the wild.

The story ends dramatically and triumphantly for Joseph. He winds up in Egypt and, after some time in a prison under false pretenses, Joseph becomes a prince to Pharaoh. His wisdom from God helped the nation survive a grueling famine and also saved his father, brothers, and their families in the process.

Joseph saw God in all of what happened to him. His brothers grew anxious after the death of Jacob, their father.  They thought the memory of their offense against Joseph would mean retribution and revenge. “Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid, for am I in the place of God?  But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.  Now therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones. And he comforted them and spoke kindly to them” (Genesis 50:19-20).

The God factor made the difference.

The Bible also is most open about troubles as it they come within the churches of Christ.  In Acts 6, we see that the young church at Jerusalem was already facing an issue related to the disparate treatment of Grecian and Hebrew widows in their midst. Offense happened and the Apostles let the church participate in the solution by asking the members to nominate deacons.

Psalm 133 presents an inelegant but telling picture of just what brings real unity. Unity, this psalm declares, comes and flows among people as the oil poured upon Aaron the high priest at his anointing ceremony. The oil ran down the beard and over Aaron’s clothes to the hem of his priestly robes.

Face it, this is rather messy imagery – a priest with stuff dripping from his hair and soaking into his clothing. And, yet, I think I see what God speaks to us in Psalm 133.

Oil in the Scriptures refers to the work of the Holy Spirit among the people of God. His oil, His anointing covers His people. The work of the Spirit falls; the oil drips and flows and soaks into the fabric of church life.

Church life can be disorderly and rough. Sinners come to Christ by grace through faith. With all growth, there are pains and these bring real hurt. These hurts can leave scars, too.

But the oil, the balm of God, soothes and restores. The Spirit and His moving soften the toughest skins and bring the fragrance of presence.

Yes, offended brothers and sisters are harder to be won. But it is worth all the effort it takes to win them.

 

 

 

 

 

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A Bold Heart to Serve

Martha deserves better. She’s taken a lot of hits from preachers and teachers over the centuries because of a small bit of Scripture in Luke: “But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to Him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she help me” (Luke 10:40).

The phrase “cumbered about” has stuck to Martha. The Greek word used here is katargeo, which speaks of an over-occupation with cares or business. It also refers to the fruitlessness that comes with such a mindset. She was doing a lot and not really getting anything done. And she was missing out on what Jesus was saying to the group packed into her house.

Martha’s skills at organization and hospitality were such that Jesus and His disciples visited her home often. She and her sister and her brother, Lazarus, always made room for the Master and the crowd that followed after Him. The detail work of such visits, it seems, fell mostly to Martha. And on this occasion she felt the weight of the moment and made her feelings known.

Given the context of the passage, Martha was guilty as charged. Her own actions incriminate her. She did, after all, interrupt Jesus and His teaching to make her plea to Him.

The scene captures an inglorious moment in one life. All of us have had these moments for sure. Martha’s problem is that hers was recorded in one of the four gospel accounts of the life of Jesus Christ. Her frustration with her sister and the way that she asked Jesus to intervene are known to millions of Bible readers everywhere.

Let’s think about it a little more carefully. Martha did go to Jesus with her issue. We do not read of her backbiting behind Mary’s back. It’s not recorded that she sighed aloud to whoever would take heed, “I cannot believe my sister’s not helping with this party.”

Martha had a problem and she spoke to the Lord about it. He gave her an answer: “…Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: but one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42).

Perhaps, this wasn’t the answer Martha wanted to hear; it was one that she needed to hear, however. “Open rebuke is better than secret love,’ so reads Proverbs 27:5. Jesus withheld no truth. His love He never kept secret. He spoke to Martha out of love, just as He did in Mark 10 to the rich, young ruler who wanted to know how to inherit eternal life – “Jesus beholding him loved him, and said unto him, One thing thou lackest: go thy way, sell whatsoever thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come, take up the cross, and follow me” (Mark 10:21).

We gain a fuller picture of Martha when we consider passages about her from the gospel of John. There she is in John 11, just after her brother Lazarus has been laid in a tomb. She goes right to Christ, intercepting Him before He reaches her home in Bethany. She was bold and straightforward:  “If you had been here, my brother would not have died,” she said.

Jesus promised her that Lazarus would rise again. Martha knew this and she believed it in the general sense. Resurrection Day was coming for all who believed, she said. We read also that she told Him that she believed Him to be the Christ, the Son of God (see John 11:24-27).

This passage tells me that Martha did a lot of listening when Jesus was around. She was no casual hearer either. The doctrines related to the Person of Christ and to the life that is to come were things she held dear.

Later, at Lazarus’ tomb, Martha’s pragmatic bent prompted her to caution Jesus before He ordered the stone to be taken away. “Lord, he’s been dead four days – there’s going to be a stench” (see John 11:39).

Some may see her protest as an interference with the work of the Son. I don’t see it that way; I think it was Martha being Martha.

To me, this is the beauty of Martha. She never tried to be someone else. These raw and brash moments before Jesus reveal, I think, the sense of security she had in the presence of the Lord. Hebrews 4:16 does tell us “to come boldly to the throne of grace.”  Martha spoke boldly to the One who would sit on that throne of grace while He walked on earth.

Martha told Jesus what she thought and was unafraid of doing so. There’s a lesson for all of us in this.

Another telling sentence can be found at the beginning John 12, a chapter that opens with Jesus again at Martha’s house in Bethany. The sentence can get lost because here we also read of how Mary anointed Jesus with costly spikenard, an act that drew the scorn of Judas and set up his betrayal of the Son.

“There they made him a supper; and Martha served. …” reads the start of verse 2 of John 12.

Yes, there may have been times when Martha got a little too busy, or became preoccupied with what needed to be done. To the Lord, however, Martha’s way was precious to Him, as precious as any of the other things done for Him.

Martha served Him, Mary anointed Him.

To Christ, both sisters – Mary and Martha – did what they did because they were moved by love for Him.